Walking After Math

its been a long time...

Tue, 27 Mar 2007 09:28:34 GMT

i haven't been on here is such a long time. its funny. i totally forgot about it. and now that ive found it again...who knows what will happen. hahaa. i dont know. ive never gotten really into live journal i dont know why. maybe i dont know enough people on here. or maybe not that many people care about my thoughts. anyways, its late and considering i never sleep i should probably try too. alright. good day. good night.

Blah...

Sat, 15 Apr 2006 00:46:22 GMT

Interesting events caused by interesting people make me smile brighter and bigger than you could ever.

i want to puke!!!

Thu, 07 Apr 2005 05:30:00 GMT

i cant stand feeling a lack of connectnesss...

i may just swallow my vomit...

maybe it will coat the hateful words that want to spill out into the dirt

i cant help but wonder what this really means to you...

im left feeling discarded...

i want my shoes...

i could run a million miles and still be blue...

i think i may just puke on you...

i hate those eyes the way they pick and pull...

your lips heal those cracks i long to cure...

thank you for everything when all you have done is nothing....

peotry and mental development @myspace.com

reality has left the building and im still dirty*

Silently Awaiting the WOrlD***

SOUL SEARCHING

Mon, 14 Mar 2005 10:12:04 GMT

I want to press my body up to yours like glass to the world
Spread your eyes open like two angel wings
Shield me from this lonely existence
That I pray to better understand
Don’t pry at my empty soul
There’s a big metal lock chained around my heart ready to be enclosed
I watched you from a distance
I’m familiar with your kind
Spread your wings over my eyes
And ill watch you fly

Tue, 22 Feb 2005 02:25:38 GMT

awakening to the soul

Wed, 26 Jan 2005 22:45:55 GMT

i truly care about you, with every waking breathe,
i try to breath love in your direction.
you make everything so clear its almost sickening to take in all at once.
But thats how it should be
clear and direct

ive dreampt about you my whole life
and now that ive found you theres no way in hell im letting go
we can make anything happen
were fucking UNSTOPABLE
whatever road blocks choose to fall in front of us, i know you'll be able to pick me up and together step right over them.
i just hope you see how much i care.
words can only begin to try and explain how i feel.
i just hope you feel the same.

Mon, 17 Jan 2005 05:05:32 GMT

and as the world pasted her by she began to see the true colors in peoples eyes....mistakes make people...ill try to build my walls higher and my ground lower....

Tue, 21 Dec 2004 08:19:06 GMT

im in your mind, body and soul...i feed off your dreams and im not done creating what has decayed over time...watch me disappear into the sunset...watch your garden die and wilt into shit...you are what you eat...so dont be scared when your daddy comes to pick at your heart...beware of the broken thoughts and when you misuse my name ill be there, on your back, making sure that you crack....smile

Sat, 11 Dec 2004 06:51:44 GMT

ill never forget the way you felt against my body. the heat. your touch. and your lips left gold across my face.

Thu, 02 Dec 2004 05:41:10 GMT

Wow! I really love explosions in the sky....I have really fell in love with "The Earth is not a cold dead place"...is there hope...

As an artist I would like to find a follow artist, to share myself with. As a teacher and a learner. I would like to find a teacher, to learn things with. As a chameleon I would like to find someone that understands me. But time can only tell, and you have to learn to be happy without others. Self-satisfaction is golden. Learn to hold your head high and your mind higher. Strength will not guide the weak. Today, I may just walk on water.ill pray for you.

Mon, 29 Nov 2004 06:10:19 GMT

im so scared that my dreams are just going to fail on me...what the fuck im i going to do then? winter is always really bad for me...

Thu, 25 Nov 2004 10:04:23 GMT

i almost cried when i saw that familer face again.....im sorry for everything if anything.....you were there for me when i didnt have someone to be. and im so thankful for everything you have done to help me. thank you for saving a part of me. my heart is curshed from self hatered and im truly sorry that things had to end this way. but hopefully we will meet again....i know in my dreams....it seems to be the only place were we can all get along. if i made you do anything you didnt want to, im sorry. i never meant to hurt you. i loved you. thank you. you helped make things sweet again. things are much more clear now. and i no longer see throw a veil. i wish you could see me now. oh, how much pride would fill up your heart. i was so willing to change my life. wow. im impressed. i truly belived. who was the victim. who holds the shame in there heart and wears it like a badge of honor. who can never erase the memories.

i

Wed, 24 Nov 2004 06:44:19 GMT

"You must be the CHANGE you wish to see in the WORLD"
-Gandhi

"It is the enemy who can truly teach us to practice the virues of compassion and tolerance."
-Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

Sun, 21 Nov 2004 06:21:34 GMT

i wonder if after dating someone or hooking up with someone, they think about you? or do they just forget? all those memories that are shared between two people. how could you possibly forget them? even if you wanted to, with all you heart and soul. at least i cant forget and i cant wait until i do. its not fare and i dont like it at all. it so fucked up. can someone explain something to me? i feel like im out of the loop or something. or maybe i just forgot to take my asshole pills today... :) lonely and forgotten, queenie

Thu, 11 Nov 2004 06:48:05 GMT

You took what was left of my innocence.
Rape my mind of graceful thoughts.
I’m afraid to sleep but I’m to tired to care.
You have crept into my dreams, picked at my heart with a fork.
If you could,
You would have tried to eat my brain as well.
I don’t want to play the victim anymore.
I’m not 12.
I mold to your disapproval.
Trust?
Where the fuck did you come from.
Prying my heart open with a can opener.
I’m human…I feel.
And fuck you for not showing emotion.
How many times most men hurt me till I realize,
I’m meant to be alone.
Shapeless and forgotten.
My purpose is not so clear anymore.
All I have is my organs that choose to let me breathe.

Sat, 06 Nov 2004 03:45:48 GMT

the blue tiles on your bathroom floor will never be forgotten.

a sad day

Thu, 04 Nov 2004 06:17:27 GMT

today has been a real sad day for everyone. all the people that disliked bush are now going to have to live under his ruling for 4 more fucking years. rubel died today and tick is not doing to good. i know that no one cares about my rats life. but i take a lot of pride in the aniamls that i care for. i cried today when i found his stif body waiting to be apart of earth again. everything that i fall in love with was gone. he left his body and all i hope is that he enjoyed the little time that he had here. today is a day to mourn. i really hope we dont get drafted and that peace will prevail. things happen for reasons that people only hope to understand. goodnight, and i hope to see the sun tomorrow.

SpongeBobSquarePantsCereal

Mon, 01 Nov 2004 08:21:57 GMT

I now realize that everything is meant for a reason. I also realize that it is really hard to trust anyone. Humans are extremely selfish and self absorb. No matter how much you think that person is different, they really are just the same. You think you’re an individual but really all you are is a mold. Something made at least a dozen times. I know you lied when you told me why but that’s ok. I'll see your face. As I write this I'm thinking of this PJ song in my head and its kind of turning out kind of cool. I think its interesting the different outlook you get on musicians when you finally get to see them live. After finally seeing PJ my heart blew up like a rip tomato. And I was filled with joy and happiness. Anyways, it’s getting real late but I’m sure there will be another time, when I feel like writing. So, peace and sweet dreams.

Sun, 24 Oct 2004 20:50:18 GMT

Last night was the greatest! I had the biggest orgasm of my life. Seeing Explosions in the Sky was the most amazing high that I have ever felt. But I really owe that feeling to Heather and her bootyliscious self. What would we have done with out that grade A meat. Thank you Explosions for sharing some time with us. You've really have changed my outlook on men that are muscians. I hope I didn't leave to many breads on stage.

Stay Golden Ponyboy.

Sun, 12 Sep 2004 08:52:18 GMT

COME AS YOU ARE.

Thu, 09 Sep 2004 01:34:24 GMT

I look at you from afar. Wow, what a beautiful face. I can see through your eyes, I see something embedded and deep inside. I wish I could pull this greatness out of you. Maybe am blinded by beauty but I can’t seem to get over those amazing eyes.

over thinking and over analyzing separates the body from the mind.

Sat, 04 Sep 2004 07:05:58 GMT

Is this desire? Is everything I'm feeling just a big whirlpool of thoughts combined into tiny memories and dreams. I wish for to many things...I wish to be happy and share my life with someone lovely and grand...that words would never be able to capture. I dream of finding something supplementary in this world, that will keep me here a little bit longer. Some say I'm to young to dream. And its sad to know that there are such ignorant people out there. Walking around aimlessly, going on with there average well to do life's. I say fuck the ignorant. Its time to educate. But what really is a kick in the ass is when you think you may have found love. And then you turn your head for a silent second and it slaps you in the face. Leaving you with a broken heart and a bruised face. A good friend once told me that its ok to be a silent dreamer. That everything will work itself out. I’ve been patient...I’ve waited my turn. I’ve seen it all, heard it all and have done it all. I’ve broken my internal and have rebuilt the system to many times. When is it my turn to fight, to be loud and not be suppressed in return. Nights are long and days are short. And I’ve never really realized this till now. Everyone is selfish, self absorb, machines, corrupt whores, suits....everyone will sell anyone out, as long as it means a piece of there skin. There really isn't anything human about humans, we seem to have a very animalistic sense. Everyone is rooted in there own garden with a gated fence around each soiled plant.

Fri, 03 Sep 2004 19:23:56 GMT

What is stopping me from not driving my car off a cliff?

Look into my familiar face again.
Tell me those words that you could never tell me.
I’m sorry for all the anger and destruction.
Thank you for forgiving me.

But really....What is holding me back from just giving up?

Explain?

Wed, 01 Sep 2004 06:23:16 GMT

Our lives are a projection of our characters. Remember that.

Thu, 26 Aug 2004 21:10:27 GMT

Conflict: Trying to stay alive, trying to find strength when all you feel inside is weakness.

Resolution: Remembering what's important and if you hold on a little more...maybe you'll be free.